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24.05.2005 -
The dust is
settling and I am starting to feel home at last. I know where I am
when I wake up and I like it (no room service here though). I am also
getting a better idea of who I am and I am ok with that too...
moderately.
As you can imagine I had tons of mail to deal with which included
utility bills, personal mail, invitations and best of all some
wonderful birthday gifts from some of you. You are so thoughtful. My
wife has been helping me with some of the hundreds of Snickers
miniatures you sent while we watch Desperate Housewives together. This
is what I call bliss. Pablo is wearing some of the clothes you sent
for him (he loves the Teddy Bear, Nurse Clare).
The night of my arrival Sting and I went to see a show at the Barbican
in London. This brought me crash landing down to earth. Herbie Hancock
was playing with his new band. It was strange arriving backstage
before the show (yes, we were invited) and given a backstage pass
sticker to wear. Seeing the workings of a touring band, crew,
management from the other side was quite surreal. I felt somewhat out
of place while totally relating to what was going on. I didn't know
how to behave while knowing exactly what the band were going through.
Seeing the look in the musicians' eyes and feeling what was going on
in their hearts before they went on stage was quite something. I think
serenity is the key here. Sting and I walked to our seats just before
the start of the show and of course we were recognised which was
somewhat embarrassing. Thankfully it wasn't long before the band came
on so the whispers subsided and we could watch the show. I was totally
blown away by the music and musicianship. Lionel Loueke was playing
guitar. I think he is the most creative guitarist I have ever heard. I
urge you to find out more about him. He had a young drummer (Ritchie
Barshay) who was incredible. Dave Carpenter was on bass who was
perfect. Just to sit there and watch the chemistry of a band like this
taught me many lessons. I was amazed at how well they listened to each
other. This is what it's all about. What you play should make the
other members sound as good as they possibly can. If you do this then
you will sound and look good. This they did. Herbie was making these
young musicians shine. He was egoless. His music spoke to me on a deep
level. It was great to be in input as opposed to output. I must do
more of this.
I had a rough day juggling dates. There seems to be a clash with a
show later this year (which I will elaborate more on as I know the
outcome). Speaking to high powered promoters, agents, managers,
lawyers etc all trying to get me in place for their respective shows
is quite tiring. Of course it's nice to be wanted so much but it can
sometimes be a drag. This went on for two days and is almost resolved.
It's strange because all I want to do is play music and not deal with
politics. This seems impossible. In the furore of this little drama
there was a phone call. "Hello Mr Miller, this is the Somerset Nursery
and we were wondering if you could come and play for the kids today".
Somerset nursery is the school behind my house. The teachers there
know who I am and obviously didn't mind asking me to come and play.
All I remember was thinking wow I can't believe this is happening and
asking God what to say. The response was... "sure, I'll be there at
2.15pm." More high powered phone calls, sometimes two lines going on
at once and then I walked over to the school and played three songs to
the kids (aged 4 to 6) and their teachers. The kids didn't have a clue
who I was and just saw a guitar player entertaining them. It went well
and they liked my little set. This was a great experience for me
because it reminded me that in the end we are no-one. Only the music
speaks. If the kids liked the music I feel I have achieved something
big. I don't see any difference with Somerset nursery or Madison
Square Gardens except one of them paid me. Playing in Somerset nursery
fed my soul. It made me feel better about the day and about who I am
and where I am going.
Where am I going? This is another one for my maker. I do have some
plans here and there but what is the big plan? I don't know. I like
not knowing because if I did I wouldn't be excited or perhaps I would
be less enthusiastic. Being on tour is one thing because you know you
are going to perform in many towns. So all I have to do is be mentally
prepared for that. But this is different because now is the time to be
creative and write some music. This involves reaching deep down there
and listening. It's almost like I need to stay still for a while and
not move. I need to use the wealth of all my experiences to just do...
nothing. Meditate and follow my heart. Thankfully I have made a start
with some ideas for a new album. I shall be getting back to that soon.
I am the luckiest person in the world because I get to try this stuff
out. My responsibility is to do something creative. I know this. To do
this I must first stay still. ****ing difficult move that! In yoga we
have that move after the practice (ironically called the 'the
corpse'). It involves just lying there and doing nothing. I don't know
why but it's harder to do that than to do the more strenuous moves. So
the best move of all is no move. Without this there is nowhere to go.
As you can imagine I am loving seeing my kids (adults in Rufus and
Otis' case). I think it must be hard for them to adjust to me being
around all the time but this is another thing that must be done
slowly. I can't rush into a normal relationship with them in a flash.
I need to practice patience and restraint (I have never been an expert
at either).
Finally, I want to thank all of you for being there and sharing this
never ending journey with me. I am truly blessed to have you in my
life. I hope you continue to find interest in my little world. I will
keep trying to make it interesting for you.
Until next time,
Love,
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