Photo © Dominic Miller

12 December 2005

Imagine going to an airport to pick up a guest you have never met before. You go to the arrivals gate and wait there with all the others who are doing the same. Some are holding up signs, some are holding balloons and welcome signs. Some don't look too happy about it. Then you look at the board and see "landing" announced. This is when your heart starts beating with anticipation. Your guest arrives and you take her home. On this occasion our guest will be staying with us for about twenty years. Eva "landed" on the 2nd of December. This may seem like a strange way of looking at it to you but not to me. I have a twenty year old who has just left home (the departures lounge). He is his own person. All we did as parents was to look after him. He was in effect, a guest. Of course we are biologically related and share some genes but he has his own soul and no-one knows or can tell me where it comes from or where it will go. I don't feel I have any responsibility with his soul. But I can always love him and still give him advice or anything he might ask for that I might have to give. Some say they never leave. (I must go round to my mum's place for more of those cookies). 

Eva is no different. I remember too well the feeling of looking at my newborn babies (six times) and thinking I would be with them for ever. In reality it's about twelve years because before they actually leave you they are preparing for it. Boys think their parents suck at 13 and can't think of anything better than to be apart (until they actually try it, only to come running come). Girls at that age will only like you if you pay for it. Shopping works. Temporarily. I am laughing while I write this because although this is a very serious subject it still amuses me. I love all my kids (20, 19, 13, 11, 2 and one week) so much and would do anything for them but it doesn't necessarily work the other way. We as parents shouldn't expect it to either. One thing I will say is children don't forget anything either consciously or unconsciously. If you were cool with them and they didn't notice it at the time, they will remember later on and you might get something back. But this works the other way too. I can testify to this theory both ways. 

I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about parenting but all I have are my experiences which I am sharing with you. I know a lot of you are parents which interests me because sometimes I haven't got a clue how to do this. Please excuse my rambling because sometimes I forget that this is a website and its topic is my career with music. Not life, my philosophy, childbirth, cooking and the universe. I get carried away sometimes because the more I write these newsletters the more I feel I am writing to a friend or someone who knows me so well we don't need to talk about my career. 

What career? Right now I am in limbo which I see as a blessing. There is no work and I am home. This couldn't have come at a better time especially with Eva's birth. (I hope there won't be a hurricane named after her. It's not unlikely). But on a more serious note, I am not working at the moment other than looking at Fourth Wall a bit every now and then which is ongoing but I don't think of this as work because it's something that's coming from deep inside of me. Work is being away from my family and working for others. I don't really get paid for my music, or certainly don't make enough to balance the budget (you don't want to know what my overheads are!!!). So in effect, right now, I am out of work. Guess what... I love it and I am not afraid one bit. I am fortunate now to recognise the important things in life and the concept of "work" has gone down the charts. Family has gone up and my own belief in music is climbing. There are some new entries, re-entries and some have vanished completely. I will let you make your own analogies which aren't hard to figure out. But let's look deeper into this subject. Success is not all it's cracked out to be. I know people who are literally scraping pennies together to get by in life who are very happy or content. I also know people who are extremely successful (" ") who are miserable. So what is it then? If I could articulate this or had an answer I would surely be on the New York Times best seller list or the next Deepak Chopra (if Oprah Winfrey were married to Deepak Chopra she'd be called Oprah Chopra. I just had to get that in there). But I don't. I am still a musician (trust me...) and every day I am at the beginning. Every time I pick up my guitar I know nothing. What I can do is make slow steps towards making a better sound and being a better musician. After years of doing this I am probably more advanced than most but this is a struggle. This is my struggle. If only I could apply these principles in all my affairs I would be more "successful". I am a student and always will be. Right now I have a blank canvas in front of me and I must say it is the best feeling in the world. 

To be fair I do have a cushion. One of the perks of working the way I do is to enjoy the freedom to express myself and pursue what I believe in. I see this not only as a privilege but a duty. Doing these long tours buys me time. Literally. I don't have to stack shelves in a supermarket to get by. But guess what? I absolutely would if I had to and proudly. Some of you may think it's easy for me to be philosophical when there is security. My response would be more to do with emotional security which will eventually make you wealthier beyond your wildest dreams. I am not there yet but I am on my way. 

Silent Night

Enough. Back to reality. This website has been going for TWO YEARS. My God, has it been that long already? I would like to take this opportunity to openly thank Dave and Wendy for keeping it together. They have done a fantastic job with it. I know now that this website is seen as a benchmark to many people, some who are in very high places. We don't have any gimmick because we don't need one. No moving flashy animation with nothing behind it. I have seen some impressive musician sites that are no more informative than The Enquirer or Hello magazine because they tell me nothing about the person. What we have is unique and I am pleased to say the way it looks, feels, tastes, sounds etc absolutely reflects who I am. It doesn't make me out to be anyone I am not. We are doing well here. I am particularly proud of the "clientele". I like every one of you and love having you on board and it is all of you who have made this site what it is. I am forever grateful to you for allowing me to express myself openly. 

Now that we are coming up to 2006 Dave, Wendy and I have been talking about making a few changes or adjustments. When I was a teenager I didn't have access to some of the guitarists I aspired to or had no way of contacting them. Now we live in a time where we can do that. I can't think of one reason why I wouldn't interact with anyone who asked me a question about how I do what I do. I am fortunate to be in a position of some influence to many aspiring guitarists so this is still a priority for me. I am providing something that wasn't provided to me. Why? Because I can. I was telling Dave and Wendy that the "Ask Dominic" feature is my favourite because this is when I feel I am really achieving something useful. So I think we are going to put more emphasis on this feature. I would like to invite you to encourage your kids, friends or whoever to not be shy and ask me anything they want to know about how I do what I do and why (should they be interested). I always take these questions seriously. The better the question the more in depth the answer. If I get asked a silly question I tend to either ignore it or give a silly response. Mostly I receive good, intelligent questions or even comments I find useful. But unfortunately I get some emails from people who always ask silly questions and some from people who write things that are totally irrelevant to this site. These ones I don't even open if I know where they come from because I really don't have the time for it. So for those of you who don't get a response to these kind of emails, the answer is because they are never opened. Dave and Wendy also tend to receive a lot of irrelevant and nuisance emails because of their involvement with the site and they have exactly the same approach. 

Finally, I would like to wish you all a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR. I hope you liked the little card with music. Thank you all so much for being with me all the time. You have no idea how much this means to me. 

Love,
                

12 August 2005

Hi everyone,

I am on holiday now but have flown home for the Bath guitar festival tomorrow. I will be returning to the south of France on Sunday. Today is a day off but I need to practice for tomorrow's show as I haven't picked up the guitar for two weeks. I will have to do a 'fast track' preparation. Before doing this I thought I'd take the time to write to you.

I seem to have found a rhythm to life after the long tour of last year. This usually takes a while but this time I feel more comfortable with where I am now. I think this is exactly the point. Instead of dwelling on mistakes made in the past or the uncertainties of what tomorrow may bring I am concentrating more on what I am doing today. This doesn't mean I can't learn from the past nor make plans for the future but as I sit here, today is all I have so I might as well make it a good one. Since the tour ended I have had a lot of good 'todays'.

One was a trip Mike (Lindup) and I took to Italy for a recital. The town was Busto Arizio which is somewhere near Milan. I was part of a guitar festival organised by my friend Giovanni who runs the Decca label in Italy. I say recital because the hall we played in was very traditional. A rectangular hall with a small stage (perhaps two feet high) facing wooden chairs set up either side like in a wedding. Very formal. The stage had flowers placed on the edge and the lighting consisted of a couple of old lamps. During the sound-check I closed my eyes and wondered who might have been here before me. I also listened out for music, perhaps some chamber music or a piano recital? maybe even a bad operetta or school play. I wanted to feel part of this room and do it credit. The room felt like it had ears and I wanted to be a part of its memory in case the next performers might listen out for what I offer. Before the lights went out Mike and I were waiting in the wings and I swear I could have heard a pin drop. Was there anyone in the audience? Perhaps half a dozen? Ten? I was worried but still felt the need to put on a great show because I was doing this for the congregation who had been here in the past and for those who might be here in the future. We were formally introduced in Italian and when we took to the stage the place was unexpectedly packed. I wondered where all these people came from. I hadn't mentioned this concert on my website because I wanted to keep it low key. But they somehow found out and I was glad to see such a welcoming audience.

The show was fantastic. Mike and I really enjoyed it and so did the audience. Afterwards I met with some fans I didn't know I had. An Italian fanbase! What a privilege. Mike and I were given flowers (which is an Italian custom after doing a recital) and then taken out for a reception by the town's mayor and the local's who's who. There was a strange or extremely surreal event which happened at the end of the evening. We were sitting down exchanging pleasantries when an official came up to me with an envelope which he told me to open. I didn't feel I had a choice. In it I found my earnings for the night in cash. What was strange was doing this in front of an audience. He wanted me to count it but I couldn't. People were standing around me, arms folded in anticipation. I felt like I was a politician about to sign a peace treaty. In the end I just showed the bundle and got approving nods from the locals. It now occurs to me they were the ones paying for it (or me). The mayor then presented me with a large book about the town and bid me farewell. I was then taken to my hotel, with the cash and felt a bit like a criminal. Cue the music to the Godfather. Thank God I played well in the concert or else who knows what might have happened to me. (If Uncle Sam is reading this I am sorry not to have declared this money.)

Neil Stacey, Martin Taylor and I were invited to play as a trio in the Palomino guitar festival in Corsica. This was an interesting outing. When I landed in Nice airport for my connection to Corsica I ran into the members of Steps Ahead (very famous instrumental group from America headed by the vibes player Mike Manieri). Their guitarist is Mike Stern who is famous for having played in Miles Davis' group in the 80's. After we realised our connection had a four hour delay (a normality in France) we struck up quite a relationship. What I wasn't prepared for was the airport jam. Yes, some of them got their instruments out and started playing music in the restaurant, then the waiting area and then our gate. Each time packing their instruments in a nomadic kind of way and moving on with a real sense of purpose. I felt like a step child on holiday reluctantly following the crowd because I had no choice. Neil and Martin joined in. I couldn't. I don't do airports. Hotel rooms, kitchens, restaurants or funerals yes, but not airports. It makes me think of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" (actually a turbo-prop in this case). There were people gathered around us enjoying the serenade but I kept myself out of it and pretended to be a civilian and joined in their applause between each number which usually lasted approximately 27.57 minutes. Having said all this I must say that what they were playing blew me away. Mike is a genius guitarist, Neil was in particularly good form and Martin Taylor is a guitar wizard. But the one who really blew me away was Richard Bona (bass player in Steps Ahead). He picked up Neil's guitar and made some real magic. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. ****ing genius he is.

Cut to the show the next day: We were sharing hotel with Steps and what were they doing around the pool? Jamming of course. I stayed in my room and practiced for the show. The venue was stunning. Outdoor, and very idyllic setting. We did a sound-check which felt like familiar territory. There were many guitar aficionados checking me out I could tell. I must say I don't really like hanging out with hundreds of guitarists but sometimes I have no choice. It makes me feel somewhat self conscious (...'OK Mr Miller, show us your shit' going on in my head). After the sound-check I met some of these guitarists and we went through the obligatory "what kind of strings do you use?" type of conversation. Then I was approached by a TV producer who wanted to do an interview with me. I agreed and took my position and then we started. I thought we might open a discussion on the finer points of my choices on chord inversions. His first question was "Who are you?" I thought this must be a joke but I apologetically answered "Dominic". "Dominic who?" he replied. "Dominic Miller". He then asked "What are you doing here?". Now I was getting pissed off. I told him I was part of the guitar festival. He then asked "Did you ask to come or were you invited". I didn't answer that question. Then he saw Neil pass by and said "Ah, Mr Neil Stacey, can I have a word with you?" which of course he obliged. He then proceeded do conduct a knowledgeable interview with Neil covering almost every aspect of his career. I just sat there, stunned. At the end of the interview some cute French girls went up to Neil and asked for his autograph. I was even more stunned. I wanted to leave, go home and watch TV. After reflecting on this I came to the conclusion it must have been Karma for my lack of participation in the airport. We put on an ok show. The audience seemed to respond more to the guitar histrionics than the more reflective stuff. This made me wonder why I was here. Perhaps the interviewer was on to something after all.

I never know what to expect when I go into these situations but I have a hunger for them. Being on tour with Sting is undoubtedly the best possible situation I could be in but the lifestyle and routine is more predictable. We are looked after in the best possible way. But doing these kind of shows is really like going into the unknown and I always learn and benefit from them. This is how the 'other half' live and I want and need to be a part of it. I think I am too spoilt.

Now I am sitting in the south of France on holiday. Earlier I tried blowing an inflatable whale/raft which left me short of breath. I think I was hallucinating at one point. Could there have been a leak? It wasn't getting any bigger. I later found out I was blowing into thin air because the part I was blowing into was the plug for the base. After figuring out where to blow I went ahead. It took at least half an hour and ended up being much bigger than I thought it would be. You could get a whole family on one of these and go on a Mediterranean cruise. Once I had finished I went into the pool house for a coke and found a foot lever specially designed for blowing up large inflatable objects (does anybody know Chris Botti's birthday?). Every time I look at this I think of the air that's in it being my whole life's experience. It also makes me think that being a smoker, it isn't exactly clean air.

I went to pick up Misty and Harley at the airport in Marseilles. They were travelling unaccompanied so I had to produce my passport to the officials. When I did so the guy said I looked a lot older in real life. I thought he had a nerve insulting me in this way but let it pass and asked to have my kids. Then he said he really meant it so I looked at the passport and saw it was in fact Pablo's. Oh God! I thought and pleaded with him to understand my mistake. The guy trusted me and we were on our way. Rufus and Otis came for four days which was really great. It's quite rare we are all together and I must say I was and am one deliriously happy camper.

I must stop now and practice. I miss you all and think of you often. It seems this year is going by so quickly. I get back at the end of the month which is when I will resume work on Fourth Wall.

Love,

                

5 July 2005

The last few days have been quite incredible and I am somewhat relieved it's all over. It feels like the day after a wedding. The party is over and I am on a buzz. Two big events have happened to me. One was Live 8 and the other the Salzau Jazz festival in Germany. 

Cut to a week ago: We are preparing for the Live 8 show at Sting's house in Wiltshire. Message in a Bottle, Driven to Tears and Every Breath You Take are not songs that are particularly challenging but they needed to be rehearsed anyway. One cannot be to cocky with songs one knows (anyone who saw my performance of Fields of Gold in Paris will identify) so we worked them quite a few times over. Plus we were working with a new guitar player (Lyle Workman) who needed to be brought into the fold to make him feel comfortable and confident. We had If I Ever Lose My Faith In You rehearsed as a possible alternative to Driven to Tears. But after a band vote we decided on the latter as it was felt to be more appropriate. 

Day of show: We all had a choice of when we wanted to be there. Some went at the start of the event, some a bit later and I asked to be taken there an hour before our performance. I didn't want to be backstage at an event like that with all those celebs, entourages and so on. It's not my kind of environment. Since it was only ten minutes away I stayed at home and watched TV. The tennis. Venus Williams v Lindsay Davenport at the Wimbledon final. What a match! I am so glad Venus won because she really wanted it. She played with such passion, grace and fire. A true athlete. I think Lindsay is great too but she was clearly struggling with the power coming from Venus. I also think her backhand let her down. Fantastic match. 

Back to reality: It was time to leave the house and go to Hyde Park. I felt quite relaxed, grounded, prepared and to be perfectly honest, ****ing scared, nervous, insecure etc... There was no way out of it. I would have to play in front of 250,000 people, plus a couple more billion on TV. The show was running late so I had to endure backstage and run into a few people I hadn't seen for years and be polite. Celebs everywhere, people having conversations with each other while looking around. Not really my cup of tea. Madonna is putting on an amazing set. We are two or three acts away. I agreed to meet my daughter Misty for a quick hello to see if she was alright (she and Rufus were in the audience near the front). She was loving it and wished me well. Rufus texted me doing the same. 

Our tour manager tells us it's time to make our way to the stage while Velvet Revolver are on. We walk through the congregation of who's who. They are looking at us as if we are about to go into space. A look of pity and envy if you can imagine that. I felt like I was an astronaut about to go into space and have suddenly realized, too late, I know nothing about rockets. Quite surreal really. Everything was silent in my head and the world was going by in slow motion. I felt sick but ready. 

We go on stage and all these insecurities vanish. I feel great, in control of my faculties and dare I say confident? Or worse cocky? And we put on an amazing show. What helped me feel this way was perspective. This wasn't about my guitar playing. It was about the world raising awareness with poverty. It wasn't about me getting the right chord on the bridge of Every Breath. It was an opportunity to detach myself from myself if you know what I mean. Kind of like meditation but in front of an audience. It wasn't so much that I felt in control but more that my higher power was helping me do the right thing. I loved every second of it and I only wish I could find the words to describe what I really did feel like playing to that audience. 

We walk off and I get a text from my daughter saying "great guitar solo dad... loved it!" then another from my son Rufus. I was so happy to receive them. I decided to leave ten minutes after our performance because I couldn't and wouldn't hang out there any longer. I get home and watch the rest on TV. I thought The Who (especially Pete Townsend's guitar playing) were fantastic. Pink Floyd? ****ing awesome. I got to sleep eventually at around 2.00am. 

6:00am the following morning. My alarm goes off, I get dressed, do a quick inventory check and make my way to the airport to catch my flight to Hamburg. I am picked up by the festival car (Jazz Baltica in Salzau). Joining the driver is Susan Gluth who has been making a documentary about me for the last year. I know I haven't mentioned this much before but I now feel I can disclose this to you. I arrive at this beautiful castle in northern Germany and go straight to rehearsal for the headline show later that evening. I haven't played with Trilok Gurtu before and am looking forward to it. He is an amazing percussionist from India. Nicholas Fischman (awesome musician!) is on bass and my friend Mike Lindup is on piano. We have never played together as a band so we must learn the tunes. We rehearse for four hours or I teach them my tunes and some of Sting's. I felt more nervous about this because I was doing my own thing with musicians who I have never played these tunes with and would have to perform them in front of a large audience of Jazz lovers from around Europe. Thankfully I saw some of my friends/fans who gave me confidence. We had a coffee and chat together while I was on a break. 

My dear friend, musical partner and surrogate brother Sting showed up an hour before the show. We were ready. The reason he was there was because originally I was due to play there the night before (Live 8 day) and to cut a long story short (which was alluded to in my last newsletter) I did his show and he reciprocated by doing my rescheduled one on this day. A true sport! 

Show time midnight: We did a great show. The band were fantastic, Sting was great, the vibe was amazing, I was happy and many of the musical chances I took paid off. The audience were warm, generous and fun to be with. It was quite tricky because Sting came on at the beginning so I had to keep the audience from leaving. This worked by continuing with something gentle (Eclipse) without trying to compete. We worked up a crescendo to end a great set. I then signed autographs, took pictures and talked to the fans for a while and finally went to bed one happy camper. 

I am grateful to be in a position to be able to express myself as a musician in Sting's band and with my own music. I thank all of you for this gift. I will continue to work hard so I can carry on sharing this journey with you.

Love,

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