10 January 2008

Happy new year to all of you!

I think it's going to be an interesting year on many levels. Unfortunately I won't be able to get it going as soon as I would have liked because on December 21st I injured my finger (ring finger on the left hand) playing football with Harley. It was one of those really silly accidents. I caught the ball in the wrong way and then boom. Excruciating pain. The joint was swollen and I couldn't move it. Naturally, I was quite worried and in minor shock. I went to casualty where they did an x-ray which didn't show any real break or dislocation apart from a possible chipped bone at the base of the finger. The injury is common with basketball players (Go Milwaukee Bucks!). What they did know is I had torn a ligament or two and suggested I see a hand specialist. The next day I couldn't move the finger at all. I tried calling every hand specialist in the region and of course they were all on a break. It's only last week that I finally managed to see someone.

He knew right away what the problem was. I don't know if it was by looking at the hand or my eyes. Right away he said: "Two torn ligaments... nine to twelve weeks or more to heal properly". He also told me I should keep moving it and to remove the splint which apparently wasn't helping. I then told him how important it was for me because I am a musician and stressed how I really need my fingers working. He gave me an incredulous look and said: "Your profession isn't the only one that relies on the fingers". Ouch I thought. He gave me a prescription of some cream to massage into the finger, wished me luck and sent me on my way (to pay the bill which was very expensive for a five minute session).

It was a psychological boost knowing it would eventually heal, but more importantly, what I walked away with was a valuable lesson which I am still trying to process. It has something to do with bringing oneself down to size. Our egos can sometimes get the better of us to the point we think everything we do is 'meaningful'. Many people in the arts suffer from this delusion. This might also be why we have little accidents which, if read in a certain way, could be signs. So I can't play the guitar right now (this explains why I have the time to write a newsletter... sorry for the delay). I suppose having a finger not working could be like being a writer and not being able to use the letter E. I have spent the last couple of weeks wondering what on earth is it I can or could do other than be a musician. I kind of fancy the idea of being a multimillionaire investment banker, property tycoon, steel magnate, formula one racing driver, or anything that makes me super rich and powerful. Or I could be a plumber, waiter, gardener, street cleaner (come to think of it, the last plumber we had arrived in a new Merc). The point is, everyone is important and everyone is unimportant.

I saw a fantastic TV show this Christmas. "The Extras Christmas Special", starring Ricky Gervais who created "The Office". Extras is a story about exactly that; an actor who only gets extras parts. Finally he gets what he's always dreamed of where he is in a position to write and star in his own sitcom. But unfortunately he isn't happy with the show nor the producers. He has the highest ratings on TV but the series sucks and he knows it. He becomes rich and famous, wins awards, but is not respected by his peers. His career then takes a nosedive and his dodgy agent gets him all that is available which is being a contestant on "Celebrity Big Brother". This is when he said something that spoke loudly and clearly to me. He looked at the banality of his situation and questioned how actors, musicians, writers, celebrities etc often say their craft is "in the blood" and they couldn't do anything else. He then went on to say that that is because they don't want to or refuse to get a normal job. Yes, I feel fortunate to have a talent which has allowed me to forge a career for so long but part of me has always thought I have been getting away with something.

Reality. Music has made me happy but it's not the be all and end all. I feel there is something else out there more meaningful. Like real work maybe.

I am rambling again. What all this has to do with my career I don't know. Someone wrote to me after a recent newsletter saying "Are you trying to be humble or something" when referring to the Mike Stern look-alike incident. Bollocks I say. After my death I will be donating my ego to science. Not my kidneys. No, I am not humble, neither am I weak-willed. I am going through some kind of crisis at the moment because I am seriously questioning the validity of what I do as a musician. I suffer from bipolar egoitis. I think I am great one day and lame another. Having this finger ailment is giving me time to think about what the !@#$ it is I should be doing with my life. But am I happy? Absolutely, because I am a member of the best family in the world who I can love and be loved by. This is the right place for me to be. It beats being in a band (not by much though).

Back to reality: While I contemplate the importance of my place in the universe I will eventually have to get back on the bike and pay some bills (six kids, a wife, an ex, and some rather impressive overheads). There are plans in place which I will follow, God willing. I plan to do more shows, writing and recording with Sarah Jane Morris, more writing and recording with my favourite singer/lyricist William Topley, I will be working with the Portuguese artist Mariza, the German/Israeli artist Avital, the trumpeter Otto Sauter, my favourite pianist in the world Yaron Herman, and the greatest drummer in the world Manu Katche, I will be writing and recording an album with Peter Kater, and getting involved in many other studio projects. I will be doing some more recording with my band and there are shows planned. Details of all this stuff will be posted on the website soon.

That puts the housework out of the way. And now, back to fantasy land. Or maybe not. I don't have any funny stories with this newsletter. Maybe next time. I am thinking of you all and will keep you posted on all my movements as they transpire should you be at all interested. I feel very fortunate to have such a loyal fan base and really appreciate all the support I get from you. You are the best. By the way, thank you to the MiFe boys and girls who set up a trust fund in my name for children's hospitals. In 1997 my niece Naomi died aged nine of carcinoma cancer at the Great Ormond Street Hospital in London. A great place. (The song "Rest In Peace" from the "Second Nature" album is dedicated to her). Your generosity means everything to me and shows how lucky I am to be associated with you.

Love,